Last week I was sitting at Starbucks with a brokenhearted woman who wanted nothing more than for her husband to change;
"If he would just come to church..."
"if someone could just make him see how he's ruining our family..."
"if I could just get him to want to change..."
I could relate - I've felt that way many times over the years. All those if only's are a familiar tune in my head. That song and dance used to be my favorite. For a time it was like a broken record, stuck on the same song, just playing - "if only you would change, then I could be happy" over and over again.
All she wanted (this hurting wife) was for someone...anyone...to do or say something that would get her husband to sit up and pay attention to their struggling marriage. It was hard for her to realize and accept that the only one who could change her husband -- was her husband. She was grasping for straws and desperate for help.
As I listened to her sad story, (one which I was very familiar with)...I began to share many of the things I've learned and used in these past several years to get myself to right thinking. I pulled out just about every pearl of wisdom that I had acquired over the years in my journey through heartbreak.
Yet each and every statement of truth seemed to just fall flat. Nothing I said seemed to make any difference. I'd mention to her that maybe she should ask herself how she got here, to this place -- she'd respond, "I'm not sure, but if he would just change then things would be better." This banter quickly became the dynamic of our discussion. I'd suggest that maybe, just maybe she could start to work on some of her own issues, and then she'd tell me how her husband just needed to change.
Finally, my bag of tricks was empty. I had pulled out every catchy little saying I could think of and just didn't know what else there was to say or how I could help? So, as I listened to her go on about wanting her husband to change - I started silently praying:
"Lord, I don't know what to say or how to help this woman. I wish she could have received something from me but she is obviously too freshly wounded. Lord, you're gonna have to either give me the words to say, or somehow intervene here."
Have you ever prayed a prayer and then was surprised at how fast it was answered? Almost immediately God answered my plea for help for this woman. I didn't expect to say something philosophical, introspective or eye-opening yet the words that came out of my mouth, (while surprising simplistic) - were exactly what needed to be spoken. And it wasn't just for her...it was what we both needed to hear. I said:
"Whether or not you realize it, God doesn't need your help fixing your husband."
With that said, she stopped...and thought about it for quite a while. Then she replied, "huh...I never really thought about that before, but you're right, God doesn't need my help."
For some of us, hearing that it's not our job to fix someone else is freeing! Just the word job implies; duty, responsibility and burden. So to hear that God doesn't necessarily need us is so liberating!
God's word tells us that when we "keep company with Christ we will learn to live freely and lightly" (Matthew 11:30 the Message)
While God doesn't need our help; He wants to use us and when we yield ourselves to Him, He can do amazing things through us.
Not because He needs to use us -- but because He wants to use us...and even more, He loves us!
For others, those "fixer" types. To hear that God doesn't need us might sound like an insult. "If
God doesn't really need me, than what's my significance?"
It is only when we strip ourselves of that need for significance, and understand that we are God's dearly loved children that we can clothe ourselves with things like; compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12)
God definitely doesn't need our help -- yet we definitely DO need His.
"Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God." Psalms 146:5
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
choking the life out of God's word
"But the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." (Mark 4:19)
How true!!
What a struggle it is, especially in our material world to make God's word become fruitful in our lives.
Each day I start out strong...determined to be faithful and diligent in my pursuit of the Lord...yet so many things want to come in and choke out that good seed that has been planted. Things like:
*The worries of this life - there seems to be so many!!
I spend a significant amount of time letting all the 'what ifs' knock around in my head and eventually it makes me start to question God's plan. "what if I'm wrong...what if I get hurt again...what if I fail..."
*the deceitfulness of wealth - money issues in general can easily choke out God's word from our lives.
It it just amazes me how deceitful something made out of paper (money) can be. We allow ourselves to become consumed by the need for it and the desire to attain more and more of it...thinking it will provide us with happiness and/or security. I've been known to spend an afternoon in Target...it's my "shopping therapy."
*desires for other things - there are so many things we spend our time and energy pursuing.
I want to be young (anti-wrinkle, skin products, plastic surgery), thin (diet, exercise) desirable (clothing, cars, house, success, etc...) smart (education, credentials...)
I want...I want...I want...
Yet to be reminded that all of those things choke out the word in my life and make me unfruitful puts all those wants and desires in perspective.
Is it really possible to have it all? Can we have our cake and eat it too...without worrying about our waistline?
It's seems, according to scripture that something has to give...and it appears that that something is usually God's word in our lives.
Oswald Chambers teaches that we should never confuse joy with happiness. Joy is found in self sacrifice and self surrender to God the father. The thing that most commonly hinders joy in our lives is when we give too much thought to our own circumstances.
Each day, I'm going to actively work on changing my focus from my circumstances...to Christ.
Lord, help me to fix my eyes on you, the author and perfecter of my faith! (Heb. 12:2)
Amen
How true!!
What a struggle it is, especially in our material world to make God's word become fruitful in our lives.
Each day I start out strong...determined to be faithful and diligent in my pursuit of the Lord...yet so many things want to come in and choke out that good seed that has been planted. Things like:
*The worries of this life - there seems to be so many!!
I spend a significant amount of time letting all the 'what ifs' knock around in my head and eventually it makes me start to question God's plan. "what if I'm wrong...what if I get hurt again...what if I fail..."
*the deceitfulness of wealth - money issues in general can easily choke out God's word from our lives.
It it just amazes me how deceitful something made out of paper (money) can be. We allow ourselves to become consumed by the need for it and the desire to attain more and more of it...thinking it will provide us with happiness and/or security. I've been known to spend an afternoon in Target...it's my "shopping therapy."
*desires for other things - there are so many things we spend our time and energy pursuing.
I want to be young (anti-wrinkle, skin products, plastic surgery), thin (diet, exercise) desirable (clothing, cars, house, success, etc...) smart (education, credentials...)
I want...I want...I want...
Yet to be reminded that all of those things choke out the word in my life and make me unfruitful puts all those wants and desires in perspective.
Is it really possible to have it all? Can we have our cake and eat it too...without worrying about our waistline?
It's seems, according to scripture that something has to give...and it appears that that something is usually God's word in our lives.
Oswald Chambers teaches that we should never confuse joy with happiness. Joy is found in self sacrifice and self surrender to God the father. The thing that most commonly hinders joy in our lives is when we give too much thought to our own circumstances.
Each day, I'm going to actively work on changing my focus from my circumstances...to Christ.
Lord, help me to fix my eyes on you, the author and perfecter of my faith! (Heb. 12:2)
Amen
Friday, August 7, 2009
How about a little courage, Lord?!
Why is it so hard to trust God when things don't look like they are going very well?
Have you ever had one of those days that seems to be orchestrated specifically to get you to loose heart? That's how today has been for me.
It's the strangest feeling...when your heart and head play tug of war. My heart is telling me to give up because it's just not in me to do what I believe the Lord wants me to be doing. It's not my personality nor my desire to pursue being an author, speaker or leader of any kind. Quite the opposite. I'm much more comfortable being a stay at home mom and house wife. But I believe the Lord has (for whatever reason) given me a message and a mission.
One thing I've asked for over and over again, these past few months, has been courage. The courage to be bold. To be honest, He hasn't answered that prayer just yet. I'm about the farthest thing from bold that one could possibly be.
But I was encouraged today when I ran into an old friend who has known me for a very long time (almost 20 years). She hugged me and told me how proud she was of me. She's understands how far out of my comfort zone I've gone and am going. She talked about how what I am doing is obviously a God thing because it is something I would never choose to do on my own. It felt good to have someone recognize that.
For now, even though I've yet to receive that boldness I so wish I had; the Lord keeps reminding me that He is sufficient:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3
Sometimes persevering is hard. Especially on days like today when things just don't seem to be going the way you hoped.
Have you ever had one of those days that seems to be orchestrated specifically to get you to loose heart? That's how today has been for me.
It's the strangest feeling...when your heart and head play tug of war. My heart is telling me to give up because it's just not in me to do what I believe the Lord wants me to be doing. It's not my personality nor my desire to pursue being an author, speaker or leader of any kind. Quite the opposite. I'm much more comfortable being a stay at home mom and house wife. But I believe the Lord has (for whatever reason) given me a message and a mission.
One thing I've asked for over and over again, these past few months, has been courage. The courage to be bold. To be honest, He hasn't answered that prayer just yet. I'm about the farthest thing from bold that one could possibly be.
But I was encouraged today when I ran into an old friend who has known me for a very long time (almost 20 years). She hugged me and told me how proud she was of me. She's understands how far out of my comfort zone I've gone and am going. She talked about how what I am doing is obviously a God thing because it is something I would never choose to do on my own. It felt good to have someone recognize that.
For now, even though I've yet to receive that boldness I so wish I had; the Lord keeps reminding me that He is sufficient:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3
Sometimes persevering is hard. Especially on days like today when things just don't seem to be going the way you hoped.
Monday, August 3, 2009
shut up and pray!
Yesterday I was flying home from North Carolina (writer's conference) with a 3 hour lay over in Houston. Exhausted from a long, busy weekend full of classes, appointments and networking. I booked the window seat just so that I could sleep while propping my head against the side of the plane. By the time I boarded the plane in Houston at 9:40 pm, I was almost salivating with the excitement of getting some much needed--in air, rest.
As we waited in line, just in front of me was a woman who seemed annoyed. She was talking on the phone right up until she stepped onto the plane. It was obvious that she had had a bad day as she was speaking on the phone in a voice that could be heard by all trying to board this flight. I found myself hoping that her seat wasn't next to mine...however as luck (or God) would have it...it was. Why is it that that always happens??
When we got to our row, she climbed right in and planted herself in MY window seat, so I politely pulled out my ticket so i could show her that I was in fact in 17A and I asked her, "does your ticket say 17A?"
"No, my ticket says 17C...the window seat is the 'C' seat!" She was confident that she was right and I was wrong.
Stunned, I sat in the isle seat and pondered what to do or say...after all, I HAD the window seat ticket and could easily prove it. I just spent the last 3 hours waiting to prop my head against the side of this plane and rest.
However, for whatever reason, the Lord kept impressing upon me that she needs this more than I do.
For the next 20 minutes I found myself upset over the whole situation. If I was to gift her the window seat, then by golly she should at least know that it was indeed mine and I graciously relinquished it to her, right? How will she ever be grateful if I don't at least mention that I let her have that seat? She is sitting there thinking that that is her seat...not mine!
Finally, I decided that I was going to say something...just to give her an FYI. That way she would know that it was not her seat to take...it was mine to give. However when I looked over to speak to her, she was sound asleep. Only 20 minutes into our flight and she was out.
"you just need to pray for her." Is what I felt the Lord was telling me. So that's what I did.
"Lord, she's obviously had a bad day so whatever it is-I pray that you will give her peace. I don't know if she is a believer but I pray that she would turn to you in her time of need. Please bless her, give her rest and help her with whatever is going on." Amen. "Oh, but wait Lord...how will she ever know that I blessed her with giving up that seat? Shouldn't I say something to her about it?"
"No--you shouldn't. How would you feel if I told you of every inadvertent mistake you made? Or I revealed every time you thought you were right when in fact you were wrong?"
I started to think about the few times in my life when I was corrected in public. Those times when I thought I had my facts straight but in fact I was wrong. It's embarrassing...and sometimes humiliating to have someone point out when you are wrong!
God showed me that just as this woman will never know the gift I gave her that day...I will never fully understand all the things the Lord gives me. Each day is a good and perfect gift from above. Even the ones that are full of chaos, busyness and stress are truly a gift from the Lord.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights...James 1:17
As we waited in line, just in front of me was a woman who seemed annoyed. She was talking on the phone right up until she stepped onto the plane. It was obvious that she had had a bad day as she was speaking on the phone in a voice that could be heard by all trying to board this flight. I found myself hoping that her seat wasn't next to mine...however as luck (or God) would have it...it was. Why is it that that always happens??
When we got to our row, she climbed right in and planted herself in MY window seat, so I politely pulled out my ticket so i could show her that I was in fact in 17A and I asked her, "does your ticket say 17A?"
"No, my ticket says 17C...the window seat is the 'C' seat!" She was confident that she was right and I was wrong.
Stunned, I sat in the isle seat and pondered what to do or say...after all, I HAD the window seat ticket and could easily prove it. I just spent the last 3 hours waiting to prop my head against the side of this plane and rest.
However, for whatever reason, the Lord kept impressing upon me that she needs this more than I do.
For the next 20 minutes I found myself upset over the whole situation. If I was to gift her the window seat, then by golly she should at least know that it was indeed mine and I graciously relinquished it to her, right? How will she ever be grateful if I don't at least mention that I let her have that seat? She is sitting there thinking that that is her seat...not mine!
Finally, I decided that I was going to say something...just to give her an FYI. That way she would know that it was not her seat to take...it was mine to give. However when I looked over to speak to her, she was sound asleep. Only 20 minutes into our flight and she was out.
"you just need to pray for her." Is what I felt the Lord was telling me. So that's what I did.
"Lord, she's obviously had a bad day so whatever it is-I pray that you will give her peace. I don't know if she is a believer but I pray that she would turn to you in her time of need. Please bless her, give her rest and help her with whatever is going on." Amen. "Oh, but wait Lord...how will she ever know that I blessed her with giving up that seat? Shouldn't I say something to her about it?"
"No--you shouldn't. How would you feel if I told you of every inadvertent mistake you made? Or I revealed every time you thought you were right when in fact you were wrong?"
I started to think about the few times in my life when I was corrected in public. Those times when I thought I had my facts straight but in fact I was wrong. It's embarrassing...and sometimes humiliating to have someone point out when you are wrong!
God showed me that just as this woman will never know the gift I gave her that day...I will never fully understand all the things the Lord gives me. Each day is a good and perfect gift from above. Even the ones that are full of chaos, busyness and stress are truly a gift from the Lord.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights...James 1:17
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Irritated by God
Sometimes God just irritates me. I don’t mean to be rude or disrespectful but it is the truth.
For the past several weeks God has been pushing...no...shoving me out of my comfort zone! Those of you who know me, know that I am basically in introvert and I am (for the most part) content with my life...homemaker and wife.
But for what ever reason, I'm being stretched and I don't like it at all!
Next weekend I fly to North Carolina, by myself (scary!!) to go to a writers conference where I will have an opportunity to "sell my book" to two publishers. I wish you could hear the horror film screams in my head...this is not at all something I would ever choose to do!! What if they say my baby (this book I wrote) is ugly? What if they tell me I'm a bad writer? What if I'm humiliated?
Did I mention I don't want to do this...God is making me - cuz He's mean.
All this being out of my comfort zone finally caught up with me last week as I was attempting to: put together a book proposal, chapter synopsis, elevator pitch as well as two magazine articles; not to mention the mom stuff, and house stuff and wife stuff. I came as close to having a panic attack as I ever have. I'm not sure what the protocol is regarding panic attacks but I shut down and just wanted to throw my hands up in disgust and then take a week long nap! There just wasn't enough time in the day to get it all done.
And as my stress level rose, it brought out every insecurity I have...trust me, there are a lot! I started questioning my ability at a wife, mother, homemaker, friend, writer...person.
But as irritating and mean as God can be...He's also fantastically perfect in His words and ways. And He's funny!
As I was reading through the book of Ecclesiastes, searching for inspiration and motivation...God hit me with a brick! Perfectly worded, just for me...exactly when I needed to hear it.
"But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else. The last and final word is this:
Fear God.
Do what he tells you." ~Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (The Message)
At first, I couldn't believe it! It made me laugh out loud! I had been so worn out from my constant studying and preparing for this writers conference that I was good for nothing else (just ask my family). Was God actually telling me that I need to take it easy? Was He trying to give me perspective about getting my book published?
I spent the day just shaking my head in amazement at what an quirky, funny, intimate God we have!
The conversation I had with Him (in my head) went something like this:
"okay, Lord...so you've called me to write this book and you're forcing me to go to this conference (against my will, I might add) and now you give me Scripture telling me to take it easy? I don't get it! Sometimes you can be irritating."
Almost immediately God responded (again, just a thought in my head...not in an audible voice or anything...that would be weird!) with:
"I know I can be irritating at times, but it's only because I love you, and whether or not you realize it...it's what's best for you. This irritation is like sand paper on a rough surface, it may not feel good but it is doing good. You just need to trust me as I smooth out the rough spots."
Okay God...I know there's a lot of sanding down to do in my life...so...
Irritate away...you big meanie!!
Just a small side note. I looked up the definition of "meanie" and it says: A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures!
For the past several weeks God has been pushing...no...shoving me out of my comfort zone! Those of you who know me, know that I am basically in introvert and I am (for the most part) content with my life...homemaker and wife.
But for what ever reason, I'm being stretched and I don't like it at all!
Next weekend I fly to North Carolina, by myself (scary!!) to go to a writers conference where I will have an opportunity to "sell my book" to two publishers. I wish you could hear the horror film screams in my head...this is not at all something I would ever choose to do!! What if they say my baby (this book I wrote) is ugly? What if they tell me I'm a bad writer? What if I'm humiliated?
Did I mention I don't want to do this...God is making me - cuz He's mean.
All this being out of my comfort zone finally caught up with me last week as I was attempting to: put together a book proposal, chapter synopsis, elevator pitch as well as two magazine articles; not to mention the mom stuff, and house stuff and wife stuff. I came as close to having a panic attack as I ever have. I'm not sure what the protocol is regarding panic attacks but I shut down and just wanted to throw my hands up in disgust and then take a week long nap! There just wasn't enough time in the day to get it all done.
And as my stress level rose, it brought out every insecurity I have...trust me, there are a lot! I started questioning my ability at a wife, mother, homemaker, friend, writer...person.
But as irritating and mean as God can be...He's also fantastically perfect in His words and ways. And He's funny!
As I was reading through the book of Ecclesiastes, searching for inspiration and motivation...God hit me with a brick! Perfectly worded, just for me...exactly when I needed to hear it.
"But regarding anything beyond this, dear friend, go easy. There's no end to the publishing of books, and constant study wears you out so you're no good for anything else. The last and final word is this:
Fear God.
Do what he tells you." ~Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (The Message)
At first, I couldn't believe it! It made me laugh out loud! I had been so worn out from my constant studying and preparing for this writers conference that I was good for nothing else (just ask my family). Was God actually telling me that I need to take it easy? Was He trying to give me perspective about getting my book published?
I spent the day just shaking my head in amazement at what an quirky, funny, intimate God we have!
The conversation I had with Him (in my head) went something like this:
"okay, Lord...so you've called me to write this book and you're forcing me to go to this conference (against my will, I might add) and now you give me Scripture telling me to take it easy? I don't get it! Sometimes you can be irritating."
Almost immediately God responded (again, just a thought in my head...not in an audible voice or anything...that would be weird!) with:
"I know I can be irritating at times, but it's only because I love you, and whether or not you realize it...it's what's best for you. This irritation is like sand paper on a rough surface, it may not feel good but it is doing good. You just need to trust me as I smooth out the rough spots."
Okay God...I know there's a lot of sanding down to do in my life...so...
Irritate away...you big meanie!!
Just a small side note. I looked up the definition of "meanie" and it says: A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
My first Blog...
This is it...my first blog. I have to admit I'm a bit behind in regards to technology but with the help of my very thoughtful, technical husband - I can now jot my thoughts down in this medium whenever I feel the need.
So what should I write about first? So many thoughts and idea knocking around in my head, it's hard to decide what the subject of my first blog should be. I think I'll just close my eyes and play 'eeny-meeny-miny-mo'
The subject left standing...perspective. God's been teaching me a lot about perspective lately. He is really good at using a hardship to teach us what's important...quite honestly, it can be annoying sometimes. Like recently when my husband fell and broke his leg so badly that it needed a metal plate and several screws...it instantly gave me a different point of view about what's important.
In the big picture, does it really matter if the lawns get mowed this week? Or the bubbling counter top gets fixed? The instant my husband was injured, my entire honey-do list became meaningless.
Nine times in the first two chapters of Ecclesiastes, king Solomon uses that word, "meaningless." He refers to; pleasure, wisdom, folly, great plans, projects, riches, toil, knowledge, skill, acknowledgment, advancement, etc. etc. etc. as "meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
King Solomon is considered to be the wisest of men. He asked God for wisdom and God gave him understanding, insight and wisdom as measureless as the sand on the seashore (1 Kings 4:29) That's a lot of wisdom!! He bookends Ecclesiastes with with the exact same proclamation;
So what should I write about first? So many thoughts and idea knocking around in my head, it's hard to decide what the subject of my first blog should be. I think I'll just close my eyes and play 'eeny-meeny-miny-mo'
The subject left standing...perspective. God's been teaching me a lot about perspective lately. He is really good at using a hardship to teach us what's important...quite honestly, it can be annoying sometimes. Like recently when my husband fell and broke his leg so badly that it needed a metal plate and several screws...it instantly gave me a different point of view about what's important.
In the big picture, does it really matter if the lawns get mowed this week? Or the bubbling counter top gets fixed? The instant my husband was injured, my entire honey-do list became meaningless.
Nine times in the first two chapters of Ecclesiastes, king Solomon uses that word, "meaningless." He refers to; pleasure, wisdom, folly, great plans, projects, riches, toil, knowledge, skill, acknowledgment, advancement, etc. etc. etc. as "meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
King Solomon is considered to be the wisest of men. He asked God for wisdom and God gave him understanding, insight and wisdom as measureless as the sand on the seashore (1 Kings 4:29) That's a lot of wisdom!! He bookends Ecclesiastes with with the exact same proclamation;
"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
(Ecc. 1:2 & 12:8)
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
(Ecc. 1:2 & 12:8)
King Solomon was an overachiever. From his 700 wives and 300 concubines, to his building of the first temple in Jerusalem, to his rule over the Israelite nation. He was determined to figure out what the meaning of life is though experiencing every possible thing that he thought might bring satisfaction, significance and meaning to life. In the end he discovers that EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS! No exceptions to his final conclusion.
Have you ever thought that if you could just do that one thing, or achieve that next level, or make just a little more money, or experience pleasure in that way, or get better at that one skill...then you would finally find significance or be happy? I have.
I have this idea in my head of what happiness looks like...clean house, well behaved kids, manicured lawn, thin body, perfect marriage, lots of money...I keep waiting for those things to happen, thinking that one day I'll figure out how to achieve my idea of happiness.
Strangely, that day has yet to come. Believe it or not, in 24 years of marriage and 43 years of life I've yet to have one day that matches up to my ideal of happiness. Maybe I need to re-evaluate...maybe I need a new perspective.
That's the gift of hardship...perspective. Since my husbands injury, he hasn't mowed the lawn once (but it makes me smile to imagine him trying to push around the lawn mower on crutches ;-) In fact, I've had to step up and do many of the things that he used to do, simply because he just can't right now, with a cast.
Oddly enough, I'm okay with it. His injury has given me perspective about what really matters - and it's not the length of the grass or the amount of honey-do's that get done. These too are are "meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
After King Solomon spends 12 chapters talking about all the meaningless things he finally concludes his meaning of life research with this verse:
Have you ever thought that if you could just do that one thing, or achieve that next level, or make just a little more money, or experience pleasure in that way, or get better at that one skill...then you would finally find significance or be happy? I have.
I have this idea in my head of what happiness looks like...clean house, well behaved kids, manicured lawn, thin body, perfect marriage, lots of money...I keep waiting for those things to happen, thinking that one day I'll figure out how to achieve my idea of happiness.
Strangely, that day has yet to come. Believe it or not, in 24 years of marriage and 43 years of life I've yet to have one day that matches up to my ideal of happiness. Maybe I need to re-evaluate...maybe I need a new perspective.
That's the gift of hardship...perspective. Since my husbands injury, he hasn't mowed the lawn once (but it makes me smile to imagine him trying to push around the lawn mower on crutches ;-) In fact, I've had to step up and do many of the things that he used to do, simply because he just can't right now, with a cast.
Oddly enough, I'm okay with it. His injury has given me perspective about what really matters - and it's not the length of the grass or the amount of honey-do's that get done. These too are are "meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
After King Solomon spends 12 chapters talking about all the meaningless things he finally concludes his meaning of life research with this verse:
"...here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man."
Ecc. 12:13
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man."
Ecc. 12:13
That word "fear" comes from the Hebrew word, yaw-ray which means: to revere
The definition of revere is: to regard with admiration and deep respect. to be in awe. to worship.
So at the end of this day and at the conclusion of our lives the only thing that will be taken into consideration is our relationship to our Lord.
The definition of revere is: to regard with admiration and deep respect. to be in awe. to worship.
So at the end of this day and at the conclusion of our lives the only thing that will be taken into consideration is our relationship to our Lord.
Have I regarded Him with admiration and deep respect? Have I been in awe of Him?
Or has my lawn mattered more?
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