Am I a maker of trouble or peace?

Several days ago, I'm was sitting at my computer preparing a Bible study lesson on the beatitude - "Blessed are the peacemakers" (Matthew 5:9) when out of nowhere, I found myself unexpectedly engaged in a heated argument with my husband.

How is it possible that one minute I can be deep in Gods word and the very next I'm doing the exact opposite of what I was just reading about??

I'll read, "don't argue" and next thing - I'm arguing.
I'll read, "don't lie and...what-do-you-know - I'm lying.

"It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up" (Romans 7:21 MSG)

What is it about that word don't that makes me want to do???

By the time I finished with my rant (which, by the way, was completely justified...or so I thought) and returned to preparing my Bible study lesson on peacemaking, God had already convicted my seemingly hypocritical heart.

On the one hand, I was totally psyched about the things I discovered regarding being a peacemaker - yet, on the other hand my behavior towards my husband seems to exemplify something completely contradictory.

Ugghh - when will my walk match my talk?

Thankfully, God has the ability to work ALL THINGS together for good. (Romans 8:28) I find it so amazing that He can take our messed up actions and attitudes and somehow reshape them into something He can bless.

The same morning that God convicted me regarding my argumentative conduct toward my husband, He also took me on an interesting journey of discovery. Revealing some new things that have me rethinking some old behaviors. Maybe what I've discovered will help you as well...

Right-a-way the Lord brought to mind the old Proverb about how it's better for a man to live on the corner of a roof than with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 21:9; 25:24) I can clearly visualize my husband, up there, curled into a ball, soaking wet from the rain and shivering cold - yet more than happy to be there and grinning from ear to ear. Why? Because he's not in the house with ME!

I thought it was interesting to discover that the word "quarrelsome" is only used a total of seven times in scripture. Once referring to men and how being quarrelsome causes strife. (Proverbs 26:21) Once as a commandment in 1 Timothy 3:3; listing the things that an overseer must not do or be. And then FIVE times this word is used in Scripture in reference to being a "wife."

Of those five times, two are in regards to residing on a roof as I shared earlier. One states that it is better to live in a desert that with a quarrelsome or ill-tempered wife. (Proverbs 21:19) and twice a quarrelsome wife is referred to as a constant dripping. (Proverbs 19:13; 27:15)

To me, what makes this discovery so substantial is that this is God's word!...not my husbands. To be honest, if my husband told me that I was torturing him (as in the "constant dripping") or causing him to suffer to the point of death (as in "living in a desert"), or making him want to take residence on the roof; I'd probably tell him to "talk to the left hand, cuz you ain't right..."

But to realize that God is telling me that my quarrelsome-like behavior inflicts pain and suffering upon others - namely, the person I've chosen to spend my life with...well that carries a lot more weight and it makes me want to work on changing my argumentative tendencies, especially towards my spouse.

Discovering that "quarrelsome wife" is used five times in Scripture was an eye opener for me. Giving me several new insights:

1. God knows us so completely that He even knows our tendencies. He recognizes that simply being female, increases our chance of having a propensity towards hot-tempered outbursts...especially post matrimony.

2. Each of these "quarrelsome wife" statements are intentionally shared as a proverb. The definition of proverbs is: a short saying that expresses an obvious truth and offers advice. God keeps it short and simple, not pointing the finger or condemning - just stating the truth...leaving what we do with it up to us.

3. God doesn't just leave us high and dry. Whenever He shares a hard truth with us about our sinful behavior, He promises that we will receive a blessing when we change our attitude, and consequently - our actions.

Matthew 5:9 states, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." The message Bible says, "...that's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family."

Peacemaker: someone who brings peace and reconciliation to others.

So...bottom line is; It's my choice - do I choose to be quarrelsome and cause much strife? Or do I choose to bring peace and reconciliation to my relationships, which hastens the Lord's blessings in my life?

I choose blessings!